One thing I really like about Snippet Sunday* is that it forces me to look at my work and ask “do I really want people reading this?” I’m using it as a vehicle to introduce readers to characters in The General’s Wife, which I am revising. This week I’m introducing our hero Sam. I like Sam, so I want his introduction to be satisfying.
Your first thought is, “Wait–what? Who is this ‘Sam’? I thought Mr. Bridgers was our hero?” To which I reply, “This is erotica. We have one villain and multiple heroes.”
Your second thought is, “So, originally Sam’s introduction was kind of weak?” Well, truth be told, this isn’t actually Sam’s introduction. We first meet him in a brothel waking up from a night spent with three other bedmates. But, when we next encounter Sam several chapters later, the plot has taken some turns, so we are reintroduced to him. I’ve always disliked the original intro at this point and struggled a little with the wording and phrasing. I’d be curious as to your assessment of the six sentences.
*Snippet Sunday: promoted on Twitter as #SnipSun, #SnipSunday, or #SnippetSunday, and on Facebook, as well as on various blogs (just type Snippet Sunday in your favorite search engine and see what comes up!). Authors post just a snippet — six to ten sentences — of a recently released novel, a WIP (work in progress), or an older manuscript that’s being revived. Lots of different genres are represented — romance, mystery, thriller, sci fi, fantasy, erotica, and more.
Captain Samuel Taylor sat atop his horse surveying the quiet woods, scratching the stubble on his cheeks, his gaze focused on the pale shafts of morning sunlight misting through the trees. He raked his fingers through his unbound hair, then grunted a chuckle. He really should be attending to those daily ablutions that made a man more presentable such as fashioning a queue and shaving, but some days he just didn’t feel like it. Especially a clear, cold, autumn morning like this, when a walk in the woods would be just the thing. He settled his tricorn firmly on his head. It was a damned shame he had a war to fight.